neoanime.forumsdot.com

This is one of my stories that I posted on the last forum, but I thought it'd be okay to repost it. I haven't done any writing since this scribble. I was just in one of those moods when I wrote this.

Note: This is from a man's point of view.

It was a party. A birthday party for a friend of a friend. We came to celebrate with a stranger, whose name was unknown to us. But I encouraged her. I said she needed to get out more. I said a party would be good for her. I said she didn't have to drink. But she did. And I let her.

The music was blaring loudly, bursting our ear drums. The people were lively, hollering, laughing, kissing. The alcohol was supplied. The smoke rings were floating. The sight was a basic blur. The memory… is distinct.

I walked out the door with her, my arm wrapped around her as we both stumbled to my car. She offered to drive, and I laughed. I lent my hand to help her in the passenger seat, but she fell in anyway. By the time I climbed into the driver's side, my cheeks were aching and we had lost sense of where we were. I drove anyway.

She had turned the radio to full-blast and we could hardly hear each other talk. We were disoriented, we were drunk, and we were driving. She was laughing at something. I don't know why and I didn't care, because I was laughing that she could barely get a word out. Then in one moment, I looked at her and she wasn't laughing. She was screaming. I turned my attention back to the road and was blinded by the sudden oncoming pair of piercing white lights.

I immediately shielded my eyes, causing me to swerve off the road. The car bumped, tossed, and turned. Then she crashed. I awoke to find myself bleeding from my forehead, and my arm in too much pain to move. I screamed as I tried to lift my broken leg. My scared mind looked to the passenger seat. She didn't move. I called her name but she didn't answer. I wasn't sure if she was even breathing.

Surprised, loud banging on my window grabbed my attention. My suddenly sober mind was able to figure out he was probably the truck driver of the 18-wheeler across the curving road. I used my functioning right arm to unlock the door, which the husky man instantly swung ajar. He was talking fast and it was hard to understand, but I could make the obvious. He had called for the ambulance. I told him, in my broken and weak voice to help my girlfriend. I begged him, again and again. Save her. Leave me, and save her. The sound of his shuffling feet echoed in my mind before the lights slowly went out.

The bland, white walls of the hospital room tortured my eyes as I awakened. I find myself in a tucked bed, my arm and leg in casts. My mother, weeping by my side. I quickly asked about the only thing on my mind. My mom gave me the news about her, my one and only girl. She was in a coma, but with the damage done to her insides, she would last only a week, anyway.

My eyes watered, and my tears fell. It was a party. A party for a stranger we never knew. I tried to muster up the voice to say I wanted to see her, but it came out faltering. With the help of a nurse, I was able to limp my way towards the room. And when I saw her, I broke. I choked on my sobs as my mother did on her's. I staggered upon a seat close beside her bed, the nurse unable to find any comforting words to say upon leaving.

The sight of her was heart-breaking. Bruises spread upon her arms. Her face was accompanied by several cuts and gashes from broken glass. The tears continued to shed upon my already-moistened face. I notice her parents on the other side of the bed, in the same mental condition as I.

I took my girlfriend's hand in mine, kissed it gently between my hard-to-silence cries. I held her hand tightly and secure, refusing to let go in the one week I had left with her. The parents had eventually broken down to the point they had trouble looking at her. The parents, my mother included, granted me their good-byes and left to suffer in their own privacy and homes. I remained. I stayed with her through the night, our fingers entwined. My effort to endure the night awake was a failure, for my tired body had ultimately succumbed to sleep.

The morning came, but the week never. I sat in my seat, admiring the way the sun illuminated her ill-fated features. I admired, and I adored, as the sound of the flat-line filled the empty room.

you should really post this up around prom season and spook some kids shitless about drunk driving. jokes aside, i thought it was pretty decent. it wasn't on some ponies and unicorns crap, it was very real. from the way you described the background story of them going to the party up to the detailed description of them fumbling into the car half drunk. it was all very real, it tugged on my own memories and felt as if it was every day life. almost as if you were talking from experience...>.>.....anything you would like to tell us wolf-dude? might wanna lay off the booze there.

ANYhoo

the story was fairly decent, keep up the good work. make sure your stories are always something people can relate to.

pfft, I hardly drink. I'm always chugging on water. But no, this wasn't from experience at all. I was listening to some song when I wrote this, and parts of these images came into my head, so I tied it all together by writing it out.

Thanks for all the compliments, though! I love to write, but I haven't had inspiration for the longest time. (p.s. it's dudette.)

Don't worry Wolfie, he calls everyone dude. Even me, and he's known me for, what, 2 years I think it is? I can't remember... I really need to figure out how to get my memories back...

Anyway...

It was touching. It didn't make me want to cry like most do. But it was good, it was real. I need to get something on here...

*walks away mumbling*